"I could never do what you're doing."
"And you're going ALONE?"
Ever since I decided to spend my summer vacation backpacking solo through Europe, I have heard a lot of comments such as this. As I said goodbye to my roommate this morning, she echoed this sentiment once more.
The funny thing is - I didn't think twice about it.
The last time I was embarking on a major trip like this was shortly after my college graduation, when driving my eight-passenger van across the country from Massachusetts to California. It was looking for a while like that would be solo, which made me apprehensive only because there were some long driving days that would be much better split between two drivers. Fortunately the fates intervened and my best friend was my copilot for an unforgettable two-week adventure.
Planning my Europe trip, my best friend is really the only one I would have wanted in it with me for the long haul. As a recent college graduate herself, she is low on funds and busy pounding the pavement looking for work, so she unfortunately couldn't tag along. My mother anxiously asked every time we talked about the trip if I had "found someone to come with me yet." An introvert like myself, I asked her - "Is there anyone other than Dad who YOU would want to spend eight weeks straight with?!" My point was well taken.
Throughout the planning - the itinerary, the logistics, the sightseeing - I rarely felt nervous or anxious, only excited. The last time I felt this way was in my sophomore year of college researching study abroad programs. As I looked into Buddhism intensives in India I felt nervous. When I discovered Hebrew University of Jerusalem's program, I couldn't contain my joy. That's how I knew it was right, and how I knew my European adventure was right.
But - I have a pattern of last-minute freak outs. Ask my parents; the night before I embark upon any major life change (going to college, joining a traveling sports ministry program, moving to Korea), I am sobbing in their bed. Last night, my final evening in a familiar bed, room, apartment, city, country - I went to bed and quickly fell asleep for seven fairly uninterrupted hours. This morning I woke up, dressed, packed my last few things, and headed to the airport. I'm not freaking out.
Which, of course, is making me freak out.
Stay tuned - I'm off to Lisbon!
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